The Luxury: Love=Pain

Two days ago, as I was leaving church, waiting for the dawdling C train in Brooklyn to swoop me up, one of my church members asked me if I was doing ok.  Of course, I told her I was doing fine (which is my normal stance for when people ask, I am not one to complain or showcase my problems).  But, apparently, my face failed me once again and gave clue that I was burdened.  Respectfully, she didn’t inquire any further information but she said one thing to me which I want to share: “It’s always the things that we love so much that bring us so much pain, but that’s what benefits us.” Let it marinate. Hmmmm. Somehow it didn’t make sense, but a CLICK came on in my head as I stood there, holding back tears (I hate crying by the way; I will suck it up until my face breaks!).

So tell me, what do you love?

Well, I love pizza, shopping (it’s therapy, by the way), dancing and singing LOUDLY to any Whitney Houston song, and more.


Well, things that I love of substance?

I love my family, friends, my alma mater (Hampton University), my church (Love Fellowship Tabernacle in Brooklyn), and more.

I’m not sure if you understood it, but I what I’ve come to realize is that the things that are closest to our hearts is what hurts us the most.  And I believe they hurt the most because we pour so much of our love, hearts, souls, and energy into them.  We can’t help it when things are meaningful to us.  For example, if my brother insults me for whatever reason, that’s going to hurt more than if a stranger off the dear streets of New York insults me.  Now, I’m not saying to stop pouring your heart out to anything or anyone because it could bring upon pain at some point, but simply stating that you can’t avoid the pain because that pain will benefit us later on in life.  In essence, the pain is going to make you stronger and wiser.  There’s no pain without love and no love without pain.  Think about it. Whatever you love that’s bringing you pain, it’s going to be okay.  It will teach you, trust me.  My pain is teaching me now.  Therefore, I am writing this to bring an awareness, not to discourage you.


“It’s always the things that we love so much that bring us so much pain, but that’s what benefits us.”

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