The Luxury: Music, Modeling, and Confidence

Good Morning darlings! 

 The end of the week is here and I want to open up a bit to encourage you this morning. Well, if you don’t know, music is everything to me. I know I post many things involving fashion; however, music is my first love. You may wonder how could I possibly be musically inclined yet am hearing impaired. An oxymoron, to a degree, you could also ponder. Yes, because of my loss, I miss so much physically. Well, prior to moving to NYC in 2011, EVERYONE knew music was my life. My music endeavors included several music organizations; teaching piano and voice, conducting band, orchestra, choir; singing in the choir (of course, I am a soprano, you guessed it right!); and much much more  As a child, I dreamed of being like Whitney Houston; I imitated and emulated her in every way possible. An international performer. Grammy awards. Sold-out concerts.  That’s all I ever imagined and desired. But, somewhere along the way, I lost my confidence. I didn’t believe I could do it. Because of my speech impediment (I can’t believe I’m even acknowledging it), I hated speaking before others and was terrified of singing solo before others. I feared others hearing my voice, so I hid my talent. Oh the shame and the pain I suffered from holding my own self back. If only I just accepted all of me back then, I would probably have my Grammy awards shining in my mother’s crystal glass dresser right now. If only. But, you see, my hearing impairment affected me in numerous ways in life especially on a personal level: I could not and would not accept who I was. The longer I rejected myself, the more I deteriorated on the inside. Streams of tears clouded my days far too often.  Therefore, I had to find a way to regain my confidence and increase my self-esteem. And that’s where the modeling came in. The modeling built my confidence because I was forced to see my own beauty.  If I didn’t believe in my own beauty, then the probability of me convincing the casting director or designer would be non-existent.  Interestingly, I believe the fashion, modeling industry, is one of the toughest, if not the toughest environment to thrive in, mentally and spiritually, because you are constantly being critiqued of your very essence.  It’s ironic that I entered the modeling world with low self-esteem and no confidence but came out with high (healthy) self-esteem and confidence.  It took me four years though. Four long, hard years.  It wasn’t until last Valentine’s Day when I faced myself in the mirror right before I hit the runway during New York Fashion Week that I accepted who I was being hearing impaired and solidified my confidence in who I was by walking the runway WITH my hearing aids in my ears (FYI: I stopped wearing my hearing aids back in middle school).  It was just LAST year, darling. Just last year that I found the strength within and regained my confidence. Ahhh! But, I share this to encourage you all to accept all of who you are and be CONFIDENT in who you are.  Nothing else matters but what YOU believe.

You are beautiful. You are amazing.  And you can succeed in anything you desire as long as you’re confident.  And trust me, as confident as I am now, I’m going after my music career with no hesitation 🙂

Check out this short video clip I uploaded on Instagram (find me @beautifulijerri) of me playing the piano, it’s just a tease of what’s to come this year!

https://instagram.com/p/zlsKSnwx9x/?modal=true

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Day 8 NYFW: Papergirl

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Hi darlings,

Today is the last day of New York Fashion Week which I’m super sad about and thanking God for at the same time because Lord knows I’m drained. Lol! However, I challenged myself in my attire today, tried something totally outside of my comfort zone. My look was inspired by my Papa as the hat belonged to him. I really didn’t know how I was going to put it together creatively and struggled to bring it to life this morning! But, I found my confidence in this look and decided to rock it out. Hopefully, you’re inspired 😉

Attire: Hat – Belonged to my grandfather
Coat – Calvin Klein
Blouse – H&M
Vest – Urban Behavior
Skirt – Byron Lars Beauty Mark
Scarf – Byron Lars Beauty Mark
Glove – Aldo
Silver Bracelet – Forever21
Shoes – Target

Testimony Alert!!!!

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TESTIMONY ALERT! So, I actually wasn’t going to share this, but I’ll tell of His goodness and encourage someone. Well. On Thursday, I got my BRAND NEW HEARING AIDS in which I totally LOVE! I had been trying to acquire some new ones for over a year, but couldn’t afford them. I swore as a child I would never wear hearing aids again because I thought I looked like a freak and everybody treated me so differently. But, here I am now – wearing the very thing I despised. And here’s the thing, these hearing aids costs THOUSANDS of dollars, more than y’all’s rent for ONE hearing aid but our God is just so good that I didn’t even pay a DIME for them!! Now what type of God is that?! A POWERFUL GOD! #MightyGod #Testimony #ConqueringFears #Inspiration #HearingImpaired #AModelOfLife #Unbothered

{SNEAK PEEK} – An Outcast.

Central Park Sneak Peek

Hey darlings,  I recently did a shoot in Central Park that was super dope!  Great things came out of it.  I even challenged myself and my creativity and of course, it resulted in something totally unexpected.  I’m super excited in showing the art but in the meantime, here’s a sneak peek of what’s to come!  Be inspired!

And for all you creative folks, tell me what you think 🙂

How Luxurious It Is Not To Fit In

I’m not here to be like anyone else. I’m here to be me. I was born Jerrica Patton and I shall live as Jerrica Patton. So many people want to be like the mass, but I have zero desire to. With pressures from society and surrounding friends, I can see why it’s a challenge to be naturally who you are and not try to fit in. But, I rather go against the grain and stand out. You and I have a voice but it’s ineffective blending in. It’s only heard when it’s separate and above the crowd. Be strong in who you are. Be courageous to tell the world who you are. And be loving to teach another to be who they are.

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